Marriage rarely falls apart all at once. More often, it happens quietly—one missed conversation, one ignored need, one distracted evening at a time. Selfishness may start relationship problems, but neglect can eventually kill a marriage. The good news is that neglect doesn't have to have the final word. With God's help, what has been neglected can be restored, strengthened, [...]
Every married couple will fight. Not because marriage is broken, but because marriage brings two imperfect people together under one covenant. The real question isn't whether you and your spouse will experience conflict. The question is how you will fight when conflict comes. The Bible doesn't pretend marriage will always be easy. In fact, Scripture gives us remarkably practical [...]
Last month we talked about developing and maintaining healthy communication as you parent your kids. The skills you learn to communicate in respectful, honoring ways will come in handy when you need to resolve your conflicts. Healthy communication and conflict resolution are really two sides of the same coin. They work together to create a marriage of love, trust, [...]
As marriage mentors, Sharon and I have witnessed couples that had some pretty toxic patterns of communication. Their discussions were dominated by insults, accusations, put-downs, sarcasm, and contempt for each other. In fact, we would have to encourage them to find good things to say to each other. While that may be an extreme example, most of us—including Sharon and [...]
Good. Bad. Indifferent. Loving. Critical. Close. Distant. What comes to mind when you hear the word spouse? Think about it: every year on birthdays, anniversaries, and special holidays, we find ourselves sending out cards with cookie cut lyrics and rhythmic poetry to communicate to our spouses what that word means to us. Only one thing will be required of us [...]
Recently, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences held its annual awards ceremony, The Academy Awards, to honor achievements in the movie industry. Invariably, the performances that are most respected and awarded are dramatic roles—the more dramatic, the better. This year was no exception. While drama may be rewarded in the movie industry, it doesn't yield the same results [...]
"I just didn't think it would be like this, " Mary said. She looked completely exhausted and defeated. Sam just looked angry. He didn't want to be with me talking about his marriage to Mary. In fact, if the truth be told, he didn't want to be married to Mary. He'd had i! "Fifteen years—fifteen years!—and this is what [...]
Marriages only thrive as each spouse accepts responsibility for the impact of their own disappointments, fears and priorities on the relationship. by Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. Jim and Irene sat at opposite ends of my couch, as far apart as possible. The tension between them so charged the room that I knew we were in for a rough ride [...]
You want to have children, he doesn’t. He’s a homebody, you’re ready for a party every night. She likes to spend money and enjoy life, you are frugal and like to save your money. You see opportunities and want to pursue them, she is adverse to risk and wants to feel safe. If you feel hopelessly gridlocked over a problem [...]
This month's post is part two of a three part series discussing how to cope with typical problems. [divider] Last month we looked at the typical problems of Stress and In-Laws. Maybe these aren't problems for you. Maybe you were saying to yourself, "I don't really have any issues with these things". If that was true for you, then maybe [...]
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