By Eva Marie Everson With one question I opened Pandora's Box. "What, if anything," I asked my husband, "could I change about me to make you happier?" It wasn't that we were unhappy or that I perceived he was unhappy. But after nearly 25 years together, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that while we may adjust to [...]
As marriage mentors, Sharon and I have witnessed couples that had some pretty toxic patterns of communication. Their discussions were dominated by insults, accusations, put-downs, sarcasm, and contempt for each other. In fact, we would have to encourage them to find good things to say to each other. While that may be an extreme example, most of us—including Sharon and [...]
This month we continue to look at Commitment 1: We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness. Last month we talked about confession. This month we will focus on forgiveness. There is perhaps no other ingredient as essential to a healthy marriage than forgiveness. Yet forgiveness is not always attractive. Forgiveness is difficult and costly. It [...]
This month we begin to look at Commitment 2: We will make growth and change our daily agenda. Marriage really is just a long-term exercise in gardening. If you’ve done any gardening you know there simply aren’t any shortcuts. Gardens begin with hard work. Clearing and tilling the land isn’t fun, but it’s essential. Digging holes for the seeds isn’t [...]
