By Jim Burns, Ph.D.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. All marriages have problems. But, problems between spouses do not necessarily equate having a bad marriage! Problems require work to resolve. The wife and husband that roll up their sleeves to address and work through problems as they occur will, in fact, build a stronger marriage!
I had the privilege of talking with marriage expert Les Parrott who wrote the book, I Love You More: How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage. In his book, Les shared a poem, “What Makes a Marriage Good” and I want to pass it along to you. As you read these points, I encourage you consider how your own marriage stacks up.
• A good marriage is made up of… two people who take ownership for the good as well as the bad. They are a responsible couple.
• A good marriage is made up of… two people believing that good wins over bad. They are a hopeful couple.
• A good marriage is made up of… two people walking in each other’s shoes. They are an empathetic couple.
• A good marriage is made up of… two people healing the hurts they don’t deserve. They are a forgiving couple.
• A good marriage is made of up… 2 people living the love they promise. They are a committed couple.
Modern society assumes that all problems are bad. In reality, most difficult times and struggles present opportunities to improve our quality of life – especially when it comes to the area of marriage. If your marriage reflects responsibility, hope, empathy, forgiveness and commitment, you’ll grow stronger and enjoy a deeper connection with your spouse. Then, when the problems come, you’ll be able to use them to strengthen – rather than weaken – your marriage.
Let me share one more practical idea for making your marriage the best it can be… one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to find another couple whose marriage you respect who can mentor you. Likely, this will be a couple that is a bit older; they’re folks who have “been there” before you. I’m a firm believer in mentoring – and trust that a couple like this can show you how to use everyday problems as opportunities to strengthen your marriage!
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(Look for Les Parrott’s book, I Love You More: How Everyday Problems Can Strengthen Your Marriage.)
Copyright © 2006 Jim Burns, Used with permission.
Read more from Jim at homeword.com